Why empathy—not judgment—is key when helping someone reclaim a safe home

 

Most of us have an image in mind when we hear the word hoarding: cluttered rooms, stacks of newspapers, overflowing boxes. But what’s often missing from that picture is the underlying emotional pain—and the serious health risks—that can accompany this condition.

Hoarding disorder is a complex, often misunderstood mental health issue that affects millions of Americans. And when it reaches a critical point, cleaning up the physical environment is only one part of the solution.

So how do you safely and compassionately help someone through such a difficult process?

Beyond the Mess: Hoarding Is a Mental Health Issue

Hoarding isn’t just about keeping too much stuff. It’s a diagnosed disorder recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. Studies suggest it affects about 2% to 5% of the population, cutting across all ages, income levels, and backgrounds.

Atlanta-based psychologist Dr. Becky Beaton, who has worked extensively with individuals living with hoarding disorder, explains that those affected often carry a disproportionate level of trauma. “People who hoard have about 20% more trauma than the average person,” she notes.

That trauma may stem from grief, loss, abuse, or other deeply emotional experiences. The objects collected over time often become symbolic—each item representing a memory, a moment of control, or a sense of safety.

When you understand that, it becomes clear: clearing a hoarded home isn’t just a physical job. It’s an emotional one, too.

When a Home Becomes a Hazard

What may start as disorganization or difficulty letting go can gradually spiral into something dangerous. Hoarded homes can present serious health and safety risks such as:

  • Blocked exits and impassable hallways, which are fire hazards
  • Pest infestations and rodent droppings, which can cause disease
  • Mold growth from hidden leaks or damp clutter
  • Rotting food, structural damage, and airborne contaminants

Often, these conditions worsen in silence. Families may feel embarrassed or unsure of how to intervene. Loved ones may not even be aware of the severity—until a crisis hits.

Cleanup Is Not Just a Cleanout

Cleaning up after hoarding requires far more than elbow grease. It's a sensitive process that involves sorting through potentially hazardous materials and deeply personal belongings. That’s why mental health professionals often recommend working with specialized cleanup crews that understand how to approach these cases with respect, patience, and discretion.

Here’s what a thoughtful cleanup process typically involves:

  • Pre-assessment of the space to identify hazards and valuables
  • Sorting and removal of debris, with care taken to preserve sentimental items
  • Deep cleaning, including scrubbing surfaces, sanitizing appliances, and eliminating biohazards
  • Coordination with therapists or family members to ensure emotional support is in place

This is not a one-day transformation. It’s a collaborative effort that often unfolds in phases. The best results happen when individuals feel empowered, not shamed.

Taking the First Step—The Right Way

If someone you care about is struggling with hoarding, it’s important to approach the situation with compassion, not ultimatums. Experts stress that forcing a cleanout without consent can backfire, increasing distress or reinforcing shame.

Instead, consider these steps:

  • Start with conversation—express concern without judgment
  • Consult a therapist with experience in hoarding disorder
  • Explore cleanup options with providers who specialize in this kind of work
  • Offer ongoing support rather than expecting instant change

Even if it feels overwhelming, progress is possible. People do recover, homes can be restored, and health can be improved—but only when help is offered in the right way.

Final Thought: What’s Behind the Clutter?

We tend to measure a home’s cleanliness by what we can see. But when it comes to hoarding, what’s out in the open often hides years of struggle and emotional pain.

So the next time you hear about a hoarding case—or encounter one firsthand—ask not “Why would someone live like that?” but rather, “What happened that made them feel like they had to?”

With the right mix of support, expertise, and empathy, every person—and every home—deserves the chance at a safer, healthier future.

Need help identifying trusted professionals in your area? Visit TrustDALE.com to find vetted service providers, including cleanup experts who understand the importance of compassion and discretion.